Day 4 - On Isolation

Have you ever been through a scenario that changed you so much as a person that just left you wanting to hide away from the world?

Vanessa told me how after a 5-year relationship ended, she felt isolated. She felt like she was living in a bubble and having fewer interactions with humans. She did not have any relationships for two years straight and did. I asked her what she intended to “go heal”. I bumped into her during the weekend and asked her if the isolation worked, and whether she really healed. Here’s what her thoughts.

“Isolating yourself is just not it when wanting better for yourself… when you want to heal. You can disappear for a while but isolating oneself does not do justice to you. The analogy I will use is, does one become a good runner by just reading about the greatest athletes? Watching the marathon, they participated in? Fair enough, one might learn a trick here and there. But until one goes to the field to practice by putting oneself out there.”

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I pondered our conversation later that night and there may be some truth in what she says. At times we might think we have overcome the demons we were dealing with because we ran from a situation that forces the demons in us to show themselves. In that way, we suppress the demon. But maybe the healing and the real healing come from facing our demons head-on, putting them in situations where we are forced to kill the demon in us to be better humans. Maybe that’s the real thing.

Maybe isolation is not the real cure for our triggers and insecurities.

Maybe, the real healing comes from interacting with people, different people living authentically and not putting your guard up high, walls all over that you fail to work on your demons because you are trying to sell the narrative that you are perfect with no flaws? 

The quote by Saints Bozoma

Today, I want to challenge us to face our demons head-on, maybe that’s where the real ‘growth happens’, but maybe this type of growth does not happen in isolation as stated.