Delusional Much!

I am sitting on my couch watching the love of my life being interviewed. He is answering the questions with humour and intelligence. This is a major turn-on for me. Y’all know the love of my life, the one and only Trevor Noah.

If you don’t know him, you probably live in the bundus of the bundus, under the rockiest rock. I am not judging you at all. But just go on YouTube and search for ‘Trevor Noah’ and you will truly understand why I have a major crush on him. As a babe who is delusional (delulu), I know I will meet him one day. And if I am being honest, I am questioning whether it is even wise to put this piece out! But I will. Because I am not ashamed of my crush. After all, he is smart, funny, intelligent, witty, and good-looking, just as I like my people.

I often think about the conversation I would have with Trevor Noah when we meet. There are two versions of it, the short one and the longer version.

1^st Scenario 

Venue: A very busy airport, probably in New York. We meet at the business lounge because Trevor would not be found in a regular lounge as he travels. On the other hand, thanks to my work, the organization will work for will be kind enough and rich enough, to enable the staff to travel business class. My plane leaves in three minutes when Trevor Noah walks into the lounge. He is alone. I am happy because since he is alone, I am not intimidated. I get up from my seat, and walk towards him:

‘Hi, Trevor, how are you? Can I tell you something?’

He smiled ‘I am great! Sure, do Tell.’

‘I know you don’t know me; my name is Stay, without an e and you are on my close friends on Instagram.’

‘Realllyy?” He said this confused and amused at the same time….

Before I respond, I hear my name being called to go board my plane. Without thinking, I quickly ran outside the lounge with my Denri bag pack and fanny pack. Because I cannot imagine missing the flight.

‘I love youuu Trevor” I shouted as I ran away from him.

The End
***

2^nd Scenario

I am in Johannesburg South Africa. I am here to attend Sarafina’s wedding. It will go down tomorrow. Sarafina is one of my South African friends whom I met in my line of work, and we immediately became friends after we bonded over our love for avocado at the office kitchenette. We, the bride maids, and the groom’s men are staying at this beautiful hotel.

We assemble at the lounge at around 2 PM to be acquainted with the rest of the team. One thing about Sarafina and her fiancé Maphosa, they have diverse friends. Asians, black, Caucasian, Mexican, Japanese…it’s a whole cocktail in here.

Sarafina breaks the ice.

“Guys, thank you so so much, for honouring our call for you to be here, the D-Day is here!” There are cheers from the beautiful group.

“You all are finally going to put a face, and body to the names you have been seeing on the WhatsApp group. Everyone is here except for Trevor, he’ll be joining us in a few minutes, he just landed. There’s food, enjoy guys, the host, Bonang’, over there will be of help. Maphosa and I are heading out, we’ll see you soon.”

Sarafina approaches me with a request before she leaves.

‘Hey babe, could you please give this (keys) to Trevor once he arrives, Bonang’ will be busy helping the guests when he arrives, I have shared your number with him.”

“Sure girl! I will do.”

I go to where the food is after placing the keys in my jacket. It is a buffet, so I took the plate and was ready to taste the meats of South Africa. My plan was to eat the meats – beef, lamb, and chicken with a side of greens and sweet white wine.

I was served when I heard my phone ring! Shoot…It will have to be a missed call because my hands will be full. And I had to walk for like 2 minutes to where the group will be sitting.

When I reached the table, a solid yet warm voice, said…

“Do you need help, Stacy.”

I look up and guess who, a brown skin, healthy and good-looking TREVOR NOAH

‘How…how do you know my name? Wait, you are the Trevor, Trevor…oh my!”

At that point, I remembered I had his keys. Anyway, I placed my plate and glass of wine on the table! Hurriedly, removed the keys from my pocket jacket.

“Here you go! Go straight ahead, your room, 106, is on your left, just next to mine!”

‘Aah, thank you, Stace, let me go freshen up and come join you! I also cannot wait to devour the beef! I have missed our beef so much! See you shortly.”

After he left, I realized he called me Stace, and he said he’d join me! I will be speechless and numb because the love of my life knows my name and my existence. I called Sarafina to scold her because why had she not given me a heads up that when he meant Trevor, he meant Trevor Noah!!

And from there, it was happily ever after…Platonically Of course.

The End

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