Reality Check!

He provides, protects, and does what he should do by society’s standards as a husband.

People tell you ‘You are lucky to have a man like him.’

You smile and say, ‘I know right?’

But deep down you know there is a hollowness, something that is missing in your marriage. Something that was not even there as you were dating. Your relationship was borne out of ‘I am ready to date for marriage.’ He was ready, and so were you. You did not cultivate the friendship, the easiness, the goofiness, you did not experience his lightness. Because you were desperate to finally ‘my husband’ to your aunties from the mountain who have been asking you ‘Chomi, where is your husband?’

He on the other hand was just from an 8-year relationship, his father was ailing from old age. His last wish was he could see the girl you will marry and there you were. Perfect to his eyes. You ticked all his boxes. A young graduate, with beautiful light skin with childbearing hips (because Nigerian men love those ones) from a decent family. He wanted a wife with a calm, introverted personality. He wanted a religious woman. Your two personalities are polar opposites. He is loud, extroverted and the life of the party everywhere he steps.

Three years down the line, with one baby, you realize this man does not like you at all. He loves you though. You are there breastfeeding your 9-month-old baby girl wondering how someone can love you and not like you at the same time.

Three days later after having that thought, Maya, his childhood friend calls him to say that she will pass by to say hi to the family since she was in the neighbourhood.

‘Chomi, Maya is passing by, please prepare something for her to eat, she said she is famished.’

Like a good wife and host, you go to the kitchen to  warm something up from the fridge and prepare a table for her. Maya had been out of the country for the past 6 months, so she has not seen your husband for so long.

She walks in,  and your husband stands up from the couch where he is sitting literally running towards her, smiling from ear to ear. You have never seen him that joyous even upon seeing you. They hugged for two minutes because you were timing, you know this, but it seems like an hour.

And there and then you see it! Your husband can actually like someone. And that someone is just not you!

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The End