Nairobi Dating Scene #part2

Naomi was stunning. She was the whole package (you know the way DSTV have access, compact, compact plus and premium, She was the premium – the real deal); she was genuinely a great human being, kind, hella attractive, down for an adventure, honest with her feelings, smart as a whip, down for an adventure and delicately beautiful. She had a great personality, Naomi filled anything hollow with her personality. If you leave an empty cup in a room, you’d find her personality in it. I feel like our love story should be like a soap opera since turning it into a movie won’t do it justice because it is too short. Scratch that, it should be a rom-com since I am funny and hilarious and sharing banter was the order of the day.

The inception of this love story started in a matatu. She sat on the left side of the bus, there was an empty seat next to her, but I didn’t dare approach her as her beauty was striking and I didn’t want to begin the day with rejection. I also didn’t have the best pick-up line and as they say – first impressions matter. I would have said, nifungue dirisha ama nifungue roho but it is too cliché and I don’t wanna make her sick from pneumonia because Nairobi’s weather has been cold like Antarctica. I sat at the back and listened to music to cure Monday blues. She had worn a sweater with the logo of the place I work so I knew our destination was the same. No worries, I have time, I will make my move after a carefully thought-out plan. I needed to be sure-footed like the savannah lions and move accurately and stealthily, I needed everything to fall in line before I made the big kill. We alighted at the same place and we said hi at the same time, and had a bit of small talk before she met her friend and headed to different directions.

I bumped into Naomi again at Cabanas and we sat together in a matatu this time. That morning we had a good laugh, we laughed so hard that guys in the matatu wanted to be part of our shenanigans. They gave me that envious look because when she laughs at your jokes, it is a done deal. We alighted and jokingly I offered, “Unataka nikushike mkono nikuvukishe barabara?” she laughed so hard and tears were coming. I loved her laugh. We exchanged numbers before going our separate ways. I thought of the best ice breaker, and it is the best I have ever used to date, so, I texted her:

Hi Naomi, how are you going to get away with murder this time since nimekukufia.

She threw in the laughing emoji and that is when I knew I had her where I wanted her and the chase to make her my girlfriend had begun, the lion is on the move.

We decided to go on a date at one of those expensive restaurants. We were out in this aesthetically beautiful restaurant, I was kinda nervous, but I picked up the pace. It was one of those dates where everything was lining up. You know, where you pull back her chair to show you are a gentleman. You both sit, waiter, comes with the order, the ladies are gorgeously dressed, and the guys are looking suave, there was soft music playing in the background, there were chuckles here and there and the mood all around the restaurant was jovial.

You both smell great from the special cologne you save up for such occasions. You don’t look at your phone because her company is the best. All your worries are gone, you do not care if you left the gas on or the tap open. The food comes and it is mouthwatering like the date sitting across from you. The conversation is juicier than medium rare steak and the orange juice you ordered. You cannot keep track of time and suddenly you are in the backroom in the restaurant, it is dimly and warmly lit, it is closing, no one else is there and you are really having this good conversation, you want to kiss her right there, but you refrain.

We called an Uber back to my place. The Uber driver was in sync, he was throwing jokes after jokes and were dying with laughter in the back seat, we laughed the entire trip and his Meru accent made everything hilarious. It is like the universe was aligning itself to make this a memorable night. We got home, had gin and tonic and snuggled the entire night. I know, not the kind of happy ending you expected, right? Woke up the next morning, and made breakfast in bed – a concept. Then she decided she wants to eat me alive. We had mind-blowing sex and we were left drained from it. I went for three consecutive rounds because she brought out the beast in me. The hunt is finally over, the Lion has made a killing and was awesomely rewarded. The kill was sizeable, all the members of the pride are full, he maintained his status in his pride, stayed on top of the food chain and is still the king of the savannah.

A week later my messages went unreplied, got blue ticks on WhatsApp left, right and centre even after double texting (I told you, she looked like a blue ticker). But worry not you are prepared for the inevitable (at least you think you are), a break-up is around the corner. Then you get this random text out of the blue, on a Monday that goes along the line:

Morning…hope you’re, okay? thought it’d be best if I just addressed this instead of ghosting …

So where do I start, uhm I’m glad I met you, you brought happiness into my life as I got to know you, for that, I’ll forever be grateful. Honestly, I don’t think I’m at a point in my life where I’m ready for a commitment. I’m way too scared for that🤡. I realized I was eventually going to push you away and felt like we took things a bit too fast, and I need to ease myself into that space slowly.

Anyway, have a good day.

Your day suddenly becomes gloomy. But in hindsight, you were waiting for this but you never thought it will break you like this. You are in the office, you want to cry and you are holding back tears. Even the boss detects the change in mood and asks if you are okay. You want to call in sick and take a leave day but you decide against it. You are a man, you can endure this, you have withered raging storms and not even Naomi can put you down. So you pick up the slacks and wipe your nose which is becoming runny and hold back those tears and reply:

Hey you

How noble of you to address this, I was doubting my abilities in making grand gestures and I really thought I wasn't doing enough but I know I am undoubtedly the best human ever😂.

On the same note, not to toot your own horn (I am totally tooting it by the way) but you are stunning! In every sense of the word. That smile of yours can really change an entire trajectory of a bad day into a good one (what are Monday blues after seeing that smile). Smile more, please.

Thank you for laughing at my terrible jokes, they were so bad, but they were good😉 all I wanted was you to have that infectious laugh, you know the one.

Aaannnd those eyes, there was this time I'd stare and we were just us two in the entire world, felt good to be in that moment, however fleeting. It felt like having peace of mind, like a tasty avocado with a small seed, like a rush of dopamine. I could write a book of this short stint but lemme cut it short, honestly, you are an amazing being and I hope someday you conquer your fears to love and let love and finally commit to someone (lucky guy that one) - go out on a limb and try this, there are guys with good intentions out here.

I hope you always smile and radiate good vibes to others. May you wipe the floor with everyone (twice on weekends😂) since you were the smart one and came out top of the class. Anyway, I take this with a grain of salt.

The world is your oyster, Naomi. Thrive

You have written it in past tense because you are not living anything to chance, you are past this breakup. You were prepared for this moment. This heartbreak will not make you go through a roller coaster of emotions this time. You are ready. You decide that you are going to enjoy your time with your friends instead, read a book, live in the moment, enjoy sunrise/sunset, hug all your friends, write often, exercise, drink water, call your family, tell people you love them, go out more, just anything to keep you off this moment because that is your coping mechanism.

Then she texts you She texts you:

I don’t want to lose you, I don’t want to lose my best comedian, let’s take it slow, please let’s continue talking.

 And you beam, not sure why, perhaps you are hilarious, or she came back, or to pat yourself in the back because you handled it well and didn’t have a meltdown like a break-up with your first love or because there is hope, there is always hope. You don’t really know if things will be well but in the grand scheme of things all shall be well (or not) and only time will tell. You play I’m Coming Home by Morgan Heritage because it is a familiar tune which makes you feel safe and wants to stay in the moment.

The End.